That old saying, the days are long, but the years are short, is never truer than when you’re the parent of a teenager.
When I look at my children, who are all teenagers or will be soon, I often still imagine them as toddlers and preschoolers; a.k.a. The Good Ole Days. But then, something happens that reminds me that they are no longer in those golden, sticky-sweet, years of childhood.
Here are my top five signs that I am, in fact, the parent of teenagers.
1. Where Did All the Pictures of My Kids Go?
My iPhone camera roll used to be 99% pictures of kiddie cuteness. Faces covered in ice cream, spaghetti, or mud. I was looking the other day, to update their photos in PowerSchool, and I had to scroll . . . and scroll . . . and keep scrolling. I think I finally found some decent ones from around the holidays. My recent photos are selfies (I admit, I might have a problem), pictures of food, screenshots of memes. But pictures of my kids? Not so much.
2. Whose Friends Are These?
Nothing will jar you more as a parent than seeing your friends’ children, who you have literally watched grow up on Facebook, start showing up as “People You May Know” on your Facebook and Instagram feeds. Surely these babies can’t have legitimate accounts of their own, right?? Wrong. They do. Even if they say Facebook is for “old people,” they are on it as lurkers.
The next question is: to “friend” or not to “friend?” I honestly believe this lies in your relationship with the kids in question. I usually don’t friend, or accept friend requests, from my friends’ kids, or friends of my kids. I do have a few close friends’ children as friends or followers on Instagram, because I’m basically their honorary auntie. This might also depend a bit on the kind of content you, the adult, typically post. It’s a weird time, y’all.
3. Weekend Plans? What Weekend Plans?
Now, as parents, we are used to our lives revolving around our kids. If our weekend plans centered around kids’ activities, they were activities of our choosing. Soccer practice, violin lessons, dance rehearsals.
You realize you’re a parent of a teen when you start asking your teen – or your teen starts telling you – what your plans are for the weekend. That can be anything from a hangout at the mall (yes, kids still do that), plans with friends, sleepovers, cheering their friends on at sports games . . . you name it. Yes, you, the parent, have the power to veto any and all of these. It doesn’t stop them from making the plans, and then informing you thirty minutes before you need to go.
4. Where Did My Money Go??
They tell you babies are expensive. Diapers, day care, baby gear, and the constant out-growing of clothes. However, when your kids hit their teen years, you will wish you were back in those easier times.
There are some expenses that feel kind of optional…
- Your teen’s desire for boba tea or Starbucks on the regular.
- Travel or Club sports: Personally, we have opted out, because I can’t even with how much those cost just to sign up. Once you tack on the actual expenses of travel, the cost in time, and all the extras, it really is just something our family was not comfortable with.
Then you have things are really not optional…
- Field trips, or field studies: The class or group overnight trips that cost the same as an entire family vacation.
- Clothes: Which need to be on-trend, on-brand, but for some reason, not on-budget.
- The amount of food teenagers consume will make you weep for the ravenous toddler days. Toddlers are happy with endless fruit slices, gummies, and yogurt. Teenagers want Takis, smoothie ingredients, Hot Pockets, and frozen pizza.
- Not to mention all the other stops and money requests that are made while you’re doing item number three, playing Mom-Taxi.
5. New Phone, Who Dis?
When your kids are little, all of the communication is verbal. You constantly narrate your day and talk to them about theirs. As your kids age, you may realize that you haven’t heard a complete sentence from your teenager in DAYS. That doesn’t mean you haven’t communicated. Your phone for sure has blown up with texts about weekend plans, what’s for dinner, and requests for money. They maybe sent you a few Instagram reels or funny TikToks.
But actual conversation, with words? Those are rare. And when they do happen, they can feel fraught with land mines. There are some real nuggets of gold there. I’ve learned more about teen drama, how caring and generous my kids are, new slang, and even that these kids of mine are smart, hilarious, and growing to be wonderful individuals.
The transition from parent of little kids, babies and toddlers, to parent of teens doesn’t happen overnight. It’s a gradual slide into parenting individuals that are learning independence and yet, still very dependent on us for all the things. When I had young kids, in the trenches with three kids under four years old, more experienced parents told me “You’re going to miss this!” and I rolled my eyes. Those parents were right then, and I’m sure one day, I’ll miss the teenage years, too.
