When I was pregnant with my first son, people asked, “Is it a girl?”
When I was pregnant with my second son, they said, “You want a girl, right?”
When I was pregnant with my third son, they said, “Oh wow, three boys, you poor thing.”
Please. Just stop.
As a matter of fact, I was hoping the first would be a boy, so if there were a daughter later she would have a BIG brother. During the second pregnancy, I was hoping my son would have a brother to be best friends with. After two easy boy pregnancies, deliveries, and babyhoods, a third boy was a welcome surprise. And I already have a name picked out for the fourth if that is where our lives take us.
I get so irritated when I think about how people specifically asked me if I was having a girl. I shake my head when I hear people say, “I really hope it’s a girl.” And I get annoyed when I hear women say they cried when they found out they were having a BOY … especially when it’s their first child. (I do understand there are pregnancy hormones involved, but still.)
Why do we moms put so much interest and hope into girls? Is it because we are girls? Is it because the clothing section is 4 times larger? Do people just consider girls to be better? I hope not!
Obviously, I don’t have any girls to compare, but I’m here to say …
Little Boys Are Twice As Nice! Here’s Why:
BECAUSE There Are Not As Many Clothes To Choose From
Yes, the dresses and tights and leggings and hair bows and tutus and shoes and jewelry are precious, but that can also get expensive. Pocket the money you would have spent on clothes and accessories, and save it for all the food you will need later in the teenage years (and before they even get to be teenagers).
No Horrible Hormones and Much Less Drama
I remember what it was like to be a teenage girl, and what I put my mother through. NO THANK YOU!
They Protect Their Siblings
I am amazed, even at four years old, how much my older son loves and cares for his brothers.
NO Bra Shopping and No Period Talks
I personally never feel comfortable with that sort of talk, and I feel lucky I won’t need to have these conversations with my boys.
The Groom’s Family Isn’t Traditionally Expected to Pay for Weddings
Weddings are expensive, and it’s nice knowing we don’t HAVE to pay for them. But I do have to say I get a little sad thinking I probably won’t be able to see my husband walk any daughters down the aisle or watch any daddy-daughter dances.
They Love Their Mamas
There must be something to the sayings “Mama’s Boys” and “Daddy’s Girls.” I am proud to say I have three mama’s boys.
Peeing on Trees
This is absolutely my favorite part of having boys. There have been countless times we have been at the soccer fields and one of my sons just has to pee. Instead of walking the quarter-mile to the restroom (and dragging the other two along), we just have to find the nearest tree!!!!
I am not saying boys are better than girls (or vice versa), or that girls should never be hoped for. I often think how I would love to have a girl, to put her in the cute tutus and pigtails and dance classes. But then I hear about the hormones and drama very early on, and I think maybe I will stick with my three easy-peasy boys.
Let’s just make sure we don’t put baby girls on a higher pedestal than baby boys. And please, think twice before asking expecting moms, “Are you having a GIRL?”
Sarah, you are very blessed with your 3 handsome boys!! They are always a joy to be around!
Thank you Angela. They are pretty awesome, I hope they continue to be as easy as possible.
Isn’t she? I really dig those boys- they are a hoot!
As a mom of three and the first two being boys I will have to admit that it’s not all roses with either gender! If I were only comparing my experience with my eldest boy to that of my daughter then I would have to wholeheartedly agree with all of the above but my second son threw me a curve ball. He has a completely different personality than his elder brother and though sweet and smart he has been a challenge for me! My little girl is the light of my life…maybe that will change when she hits her teens but I hope not. As easy as having a boy is (all that is true!) I have longed for a girl since my first pregnancy. The main reason for that hope was because I was looking ahead. My mother and I share a relationship that I hope to one day have and even improve upon with my little girl. My mother is very close to my brother as well but I have seen a lot of differences in how they relate especially since he married and had children. I would have genuinely been happy to have three boys and in some ways it would have been a lot easier but I’m thankful for the opportunity to nurture a daughter.
You know Mary when I was writing this and thinking about everything I would be missing about having a daughter (good and bad), I thought about the relationship with my husband and a daughter,and my relationship with a younger daughter but not about the grown up relationship a daughter and I would have. Makes me sad. Thanks a lot, I don’t know if we are ready for 4 kids. Seriously though, Thank you for your sincere comment.
Hahaha! Now Sarah wants a giiiirl!! 😛
Sarah, I too wanted my first to be a boy. Since I was little I always wanted a big brother. I hated being the oldest and being a girl. I felt like with my strict parents, I got the short end of the stick since you have to be more careful and strict with girls, and you tend to be more over barring with your first until you learn some of it is unnecessary.
So with me, my parents were stern, overprotective, and overly cautious. By the time my brother came around, he had all the freedom in the world… My parents told me that they had discovered that being over barring wasn’t the best way to go. Had I been a boy, they wouldn’t have felt the need to hover and protect as much and then when I came around second they would have learned all I went through was unnecessary!
Then my dreams came true! I had the most perfect little baby boy!…. For my next baby, I knew I wanted a girl so I could have one of each Again, my dreams came true!
Here I am pregnant with my third and I am praying for another sweet little boy for the same reasons you mentioned in your post!
I will admit, I do always think, “That poor lady” when I see a mom of multiple boys…. But I also feel the same about a mom with multiple girls…. With three boys I think, “That mom is gonna be given a few heart attacks from all the dare devil stunts and will be driven crazy by all the constant loud noises and bodily functions.” Then a mom of all girls i think, “That poor mom is in for a life of tears and drama. Those girls are gonna drive her to drink.” But I also think that about moms that have four or more kids in general…..
Funny thing is, I wanna be one of those moms…..
That is what makes this journey so amazing. We know what we are getting ourself into, and we still go for it because the payoffs out weigh the hard parts!
I am not ready for the ER visits our middle child will put us through. Seems like we both have similar thoughts. I hope your prayers are answered.
I am pretty sure I think those same things about those same types of broods of children. Interesting how we default to those thoughts, even knowing better, and we still want to be THAT FAMILY. Totally guilty, too.
Didn’t know you were expecting another baby Malorie, Congrats!! <3
I am a mother of two girls. I’ve never cared what the sex of my baby will be and I don’t think I ever will. Right now, my heart longs for a son, but I won’t be the least bit upset if I was blessed with another daughter.
I can’t imagine having to deal with the comments of people though. I’m not sure I’d be very patient with it all. Makes me wonder… if I was to get pregnant again, would people in fact ask me “Oh! I bet you’re ready for a boy now, huh?” Or would they fawn over the fact I’d have three ‘sweet little girls’? Hmmm…..
I would like to comment on a few points you made though, all in good nature, I promise!
“No Horrible Hormones and Much Less Drama” – I am not the parent to a boy but I am the mother of one and he is just as dramatic as my oldest daughter is. My youngest daughter, while quite brash at times, is not the least bit dramatic. I think that is hard-wired and not sex dependent.
“They Protect Their Siblings” – I dare someone to try and pick on or harm Lily while Joce is around. Heck, she’ll protect your kids too whether she has to chastise another child for their remarks or lack of sharing- I’ve even seen her shove a kid or two away from her baby sister. (I don’t condone physical violence, but I do applaud defensive measures when safety is in question.) Also not sex dependent.
“NO Bra Shopping and No Period Talks” – Mothers of only boys may not have the ‘need’ to talk ‘girl shop’ with their sons, but they should. All children, male and female, should be educated on the biology of the opposite sex. You do have the luxury of not having to demonstrate how to use a tampon- but if they are anything like the guys I’ve dated, they will want to know anyway- and I’d rather explain it to them over the first hussy that will *show* him.
“The Groom’s Family Isn’t Traditionally Expected to Pay for Weddings” – They are in every culture except ours. In most Eastern cultures, the Groom’s family covers EVERYTHING. I’m a HUGE fan of my kids paying for their own weddings in this divorce culture. I will help with what I see fit when the time comes, but in America, it’s no longer truly expected of either sex’s parents.
“They Love Their Mamas” – Lily is a Mama’s girl and I wouldn’t have it any other way. <3
"Peeing on Trees" – Girls can pee on trees… if they say they can't, they've never been bored enough or spent enough time outdoors! 😉
Megan I can’t agree with you more (period)
LOL! Gah, I miss seeing you. You’re a hoot too 😉
My first pregnancy, I wanted a boy. Everyone in my husbands family had girls, and I wanted to be the first to produce a boy to carry on the family name. It turned out to be a girl who I love. When I got pregnant the second time, I wanted her to have a little sister to be her best friend. It turned out to be a boy, which my husband was thrilled about but I had to mourn the loss of being able to use the awesome girls name we had picked out… since we had already decided we were team two and through, so there would be no more babies to name after him. I felt a lot better when I found an awesome boys name, and now that he is 20 days old, I am so in love!
I love my little mama’s boy. He is my one and only, but I feel so blessed. Yes, there are trying times, but I have truly loved every minute of it (and he’s only 2!!)
My oldest is a boy, then I had a girl. When I got pregnant again people looked at me bewildered. Why would I have a third? I already had a boy and girl. Gender had NOTHING to do with my choice to have my first, second or third child. After miscarrying twins in between my first and second I knew that gender was such an insignificant thing to pray or wish for. I truly just wanted healthy children. My oldest boy is serious, exceptionally bright and sweet. My daughter is carefree, smart and gorgeous. My baby boy is cuddly and sweet.
I might be naive, but I can’t wait for my daughter to hit her teen years. This is when she’ll learn who she is. She’ll play sports, be on a team, make lifelong friends and have her first boyfriend. I want to guide her through these defining moments. Give her the backbone she needs, help her find who she is.
I get the same reaction by having 2 girls. Everyone assumes I want or need a boy. No thanks. I love my girls. 😉
i am the mommy of a handsone, smart, funny, and absolutly loving little boy!! he is about to be two in feb. i will admit i was really wanting a girl when i found out i was pregnant, i even had the girl name picked out. but when i found out it was a boy i was jus as excited and happy about it! i couldnt imagine my life with out my son! i do get emotional alot when i see all the girl clothes, but i get more mad at the clothes part than anything because why does every store have a four times larger sectiom of clothing for girls?? it makes no sense boys need clothes too and they look just ss cute in thier clothes as girks do. i blame the designers they need to make more boy clothes lol! that part of your story had me cracking up because every time we go shopping i get very mad over it, and its not because it makes me want my son to be a girl i jus want a good selection of clothes to pick from for my BOY too! but i do hope to have a little girl one day, but i am soo happy my first is a boy!! my brother has a little girl three months younger than my son and she is alot mkre difficult than my son! but at the same time she is the sweetest little girl ever! both genders are amazing in thier own way and ill jus be happy with whatever im blessed with!! your three boys are adorable!!
Great post! I LOVE being a mama to a little boy. He is such a sweetheart and a huge mama’s boy. I do think a lot of men want boys and a lot of women want girls, at least from the comments I’ve gotten myself! It wasn’t true for me, though– I was so excited to have a boy. I have two older brothers so I have been able to experience firsthand how sweet brothers can be, AND how amazing they are to their moms.
Enjoy every second!