As moms, we often find ourselves constantly in the company of others. Our children, our partners, our kids’ friends, coworkers . . . the list goes on.
So, when we find ourselves without others – whether your kids are entirely wrapped up in activities, or you are going through a separation or divorce, or the kids are just getting older and into their own things, and your partner is away – you may find yourself at a loss for what to do.
For me, I have often found myself alone. I am not good at coordinating activities with friends; I get frustrated trying to sync up schedules and wait on people. I got very comfortable eating out alone right out of high school. Of course, marriage and children changed that dramatically, and like any parent of closely spaced kids, you get used to never, ever, really being alone.
Two years ago, when my spouse and I separated, there was a little sense of dejavu. One of the stranger side effects of separation and divorce is mandated kid-free time. It is a blessing but has its drawbacks. On the one hand, even in a committed relationship with two present parents, one of them (usually the mom, but not always), is the primary parent pulling the majority of the mental load. So having dedicated time where you are *not* the primary parent feels like freedom.
Even outside of this scheduled time away from my kids, they are growing up. There are times everyone is away at sleepovers or other activities. Or sometimes they are just busy with their own things, and I am just sitting on the couch, rewatching episodes of Big Bang Theory and the Office.
Maybe you have found yourself in the same boat and are struggling. Here are a few things I have found to help fill that time and help me recenter myself.
1. Line Dancing
I picked up this activity because I love dancing and line dancing does not require a partner. Outside of sometimes a cover to get in, it’s basically free, and that’s also a bonus. It’s a great way to make some friends. I, myself, was adopted into a group of women and it’s been a wonderful experience getting to know people outside of my role as “mom of …”.
The downside is that our line dancing spots keep closing down. Initially, we went to Skyline Club, which shut down, but now has line dancing again from 5 pm to 7 pm on Friday and Saturday evenings. Then we shifted to Carolina Western Pub in Downtown Columbia, but that also closed. Then we moved to the Woody and they closed this past Halloween. I’d say line dancing is cursed, but it is really the liquor liability insurance that has a chokehold on the industry. Regardless, line dancing is a great activity to do on your own.
2. Movies
Both Regal and AMC offer monthly unlimited movie passes. Regal is around $20 a month. Since we have more Regal theaters in Columbia, this is the one I went with. I love that whenever I have a couple hours to kill, I can usually find a movie to pass the time. It’s air conditioned, comfortable, and often you have the theater almost entirely to yourself. It’s a great time!
3. Dining/Drinking Out
I admit, I find a lot of benefits to dining and drinking alone. I never have to wait more than a couple minutes to get a table. Everywhere I’ve been, full menu service is available at the bar, so there is no need to wait for a table. Even at hibachi, they can often use solo diners to fill the tables. Sitting at the bar gives you opportunity to strike up conversations with new people, watch sports games on the screens, and the best thing ever: people watch. Some of my favorite Columbia restaurants to dine solo are:
- Publico – With two locations in Downtown Columbia, you can find great seasonal offerings, weekly specials, and fabulous drinks. One of my favorite seasonal offerings is the Girl Scout Cookie Espresso Martini flight. Publico is also a great brunch spot.
- Inakaya Watanabe – Anyone who knows me, knows they will find me most Fridays at the Inakaya sushi bar for lunch. I love sitting at the sushi bar, and the staff is attentive and friendly. For stellar quality with extremely affordable prices, you really can’t beat this hidden gem!
- Barrio – Not only does Barrio have monthly specials on tacos, queso, and drinks, the food is legitimately delicious. As someone who has had bariatric surgery, I love that I can order just one extremely delicious taco. So many restaurants only offer tacos in sets of two or three. On top of the fantastic food, you can’t beat the location of Barrio. The patio overlooks the Icehouse Amphitheater, and you can often catch great live music.
- Takosushi – they have multiple locations in the Midlands and have great happy hour specials on food and drinks.
- The Dragon Room – Another Vista must-visit restaurant. From their Two-for-Tuesday, Bao and Bubbles Thursday, and late night eats, you really can’t go wrong with this spot.
- The Hollow – Unique in the Midlands for its local and wild flavors, The Hollow is a great spot for brunch, small bites, or a special night out.
- The Grand – A Main Street staple! While this is a great spot for group events with the bowling in the back, it also has a great menu and is a fun place for people watching.
- Kao – This Thai fusion hot spot has some of my favorite appetizers. As someone who is often dining alone, one appetizer is often all I need, and keeps the costs of eating out down.
All of these restaurants offer great rotating drink specials, dining specials, and stellar service (no, this is not a sponsored post). I love restaurants that offer new things on their menu on a fairly routine basis. It keeps things interesting. Also, I obviously have a soft spot for Asian/Asian Fusion eateries.
Get Outside
- Soda City Market – Soda City Market is a wonderful way to spend your Saturday morning. The market happens every week, rain or shine, on Main Street. Walking down the street, smelling the delicious foods, petting the dogs, splurging on the occasional floral bouquet purchase, and wandering local vendor stalls – this is a Columbia staple and a great thing to do on your own, or with friends.
- Virginia Hylton Park – Located in Downtown Lexington, this park is a great spot to walk around, sit with a book, drink coffee from a nearby shop (like O’Hara’s), and enjoy the shade. This park recently had a major glow up and is even better than it was before.
- Icehouse Amphitheater – Also in Downtown Lexington, this spot often hosts live music, events, and markets. Some are free, some are not, but most are generally affordable.
- Finlay Park – Downtown Columbia’s flagship park has reopened and is spectacular! There is something here for everyone. Just make sure to check out their bag policy before you head on over for a relaxing day in the park.
There really is no limit to the the activities you can do alone. So much of my time has been spent rediscovering what I enjoy doing, without having to consider what everyone else wants or needs. This might seem selfish on the surface, but it is a necessary sort of selfishness – it’s self-care at its most basic level.
