Mom Confession :: I Don’t Treat My Kids Equally


Recently I was in a situation with a family member – whom I’ll refer to as Grace. Grace stated, “I would never do something for one of my kids and not do it for the other.”

Feeling judged…

Grace was judging me because she had seen a picture on Facebook of my 3-year-old eating an ice cream cone at the water park. Grace didn’t go to the water park with us, but we were staying at her house for two days. She asked my older kids if they had ice cream because she said she only saw a picture of my youngest.

First off, I would never post a picture of my teenagers eating on social media. They wouldn’t want me to and I respect that. I wouldn’t want a picture of myself eating on social media! However, a cute little kid eating ice cream – that’s adorable! My older children told Grace they were not with me when I bought the ice cream. They were off riding the big slides and I was watching the 3-year-old in the kiddie section. When they returned to me they didn’t ask me for ice cream. If they would have wanted any, they would have.

It’s none of my business, but…

Grace spoke to me later in private and started the conversation with, “It’s probably none of my business but…” Folks, from mom to mom, if you ever have to start a conversation with “It’s none of my business” then it is really none of your business.

Grace, who was not so filled with grace, told me that she couldn’t believe I would buy something for one of my kids and not the others. She also told me (she didn’t ask, she TOLD) that she was going to take my older kids out for ice cream that evening since I had not bought them any earlier. And she did just that. While I was in the shower she told them to get in her car (without even telling me they were leaving) to go get ice cream. Needless to say, we packed our stuff up early the next morning and left for home and I have no plans of ever going back.

The realization…

I realized something about myself in the days to follow. I don’t treat my kids equally all of the time – and that’s okay! Honestly, if I tried to do every little thing I do for one of my kids for all four of them, I would probably go looney tunes crazy! Sometimes one of my big kids needs more attention than my 3-year-old and sometimes my 3-year-old needs more attention. Just because I buy a bra for my teenager doesn’t mean I buy a bra for my 3-year-old. My 3-year-old still drinks out of a sippy cup – should I also buy one for my teenager?

Okay, now I said those last few sentences to be funny, but seriously…

Last summer one of my kids went to camp and one of the others didn’t get to go. This summer the other teenager got to go to camp and the one that went last summer didn’t get to go. We have a large family and sometimes we have to take turns getting to do fun expensive things. Each of my kids has different love languages and each of my kids has different emotional needs. I know all three of my teenagers love languages. I also know that if any of my kids wanted anything from me, they would ask! Just because they are shy around family that they only see during special holidays, doesn’t mean they are shy around me.

Mom – if you don’t treat your kids the same. I GET YOU! I’m not talking about favoritism; that is totally different. If my older children would have been with me when I bought the ice cream, I would have offered them one too.

Boundaries are so important when talking with other moms. Let us think about how we want to be talked to by other moms and treat each other with love and understanding. Treat others how you want to be treated.

How have you treated your children differently?


  1. When I was little 10 years old I had soo many sibling around the same age as me. At one time I remember when we all were at our my mums friends house. At one point I was in the kitchen with my mum and her friend and she offered me a sweet so I took it and went to the living room we’re all my sibling were. None of them got jealous because if they want it they would go to my mum and ask for it. Sometimes you have to teach your child that they can’t get everything that other people has because they could get jealous what people has in public.

    You have to teach them. Imagine their was 1 sweet left at home all the kids can’t share it. So it first come first


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