One year ago, right after Easter service at church, I told my husband that it would be a neat idea if next year we invited some friends over to celebrate Easter with us.
Since I didn’t want to wait until next year to get together, I decided to create a group chat with some of my friends that already knew each other, but didn’t really get together much, so we could start hanging out together as a group.
Things started out on the right foot. We got together at the end of April to celebrate the birthday of one of the people in the group. The women were at one table talking for hours, and our husbands at another table laughing and chatting. All the children were having fun as well. The months passed by and we kept talking and texting in the group. When my birthday came around over the summer, I invited them to my house and we all had a great time.
Fast forward a few months and the unthinkable happened: conflict arose. At first I didn’t know about it, but I did sense that things were a little off in the group. Texts were not answered, plans didn’t happen, things started to feel a little different. But once I found out about the conflict, I couldn’t wrap my head around it. I kept thinking, “How were we all really close friends and now you won’t speak to each other? How does that happen?” I understand that differences can occur, that you might overstep it with a comment you make, but what’s so bad that you will not forgive and move on?
The new normal of our fractured group has been quite difficult for me. To be honest, I don’t recall being in this position before (being really close to a conflict between friends), and what I have been trying to do is stay impartial and support both friends, but I’m discovering that it is quite difficult to do.
As with any other conflict, it’s hard to get let go of things that might have created the conflict. It can be difficult to talk your problems out with each other and really listen and try to understand what the other person is trying to say. It’s also hard sometimes to understand what the other person is feeling and to forgive them with an open heart (meaning to forgive and really give each other another chance to get it right).
I just hope and pray that my friends follow their process to heal and really forgive each other, because sometimes we could be missing on a lot when we don’t let things go.
