If you are reading this, you are likely expecting your first baby (congratulations!), or maybe you are in the midst of the newborn haze. As I write this, I am at the end of that first postpartum month, as a second time mom.
When moms are pregnant, they tend to spend a lot of time preparing for labor and delivery; especially the first time, since so much is unknown. Since it is one of the biggest, most important, exciting, stressful and wonderful days of a person’s life, it’s no wonder that we spend so much time, money and headspace preparing for that big day.
What we don’t spend enough time preparing for is the fourth trimester, which spans the time frame of a baby’s birth to the end of the third month of life. To be fair, the first time a new parent goes through this, you likely don’t even know how to prepare. I believe the further out we are from those early days, the more we forget just how incredibly hard they are, and it gets harder to remember what we really needed during that time. So my second time around, I’ve been keeping notes to help other moms feel more prepared.
1. For Baby
Any new mom knows how overwhelming registering for baby items can be. After having two babies, I have narrowed it down to the very basic things that you need in that very first month. Beyond this list, you can buy things as you go once baby is here. This is by no means a complete list of everything you will need in the first year of your baby’s life, but is meant to be an essentials list if you are feeling overwhelmed thinking about all of the things you may need.
Your baby will need:
- A safe and approved car seat
- A safe sleep space (crib or bassinet with sheets; or research safe bed sharing)
- Diapers and wipes
- Breast or bottle feeding supplies (manual or gravity pump, breastmilk storage bags; formula, bottles with size 1 nipples; burp cloths)
- A baby wrap or carrier
- A two week supply of sleepers (size NB and 0-3 mo)
- Bath supplies (soap and lotion, hairbrush and comb, washcloth and towels, baby bathtub)
- Basic baby care supplies (thermometer, saline and bulb syringe, gas drops, Vitamin D drops, nail clippers/filer, diaper cream, pacifiers).
2. For Mom
As a new mom, you will need to be stocked up with postpartum personal care supplies. I would recommend you be prepared with supplies for a vaginal OR cesarean birth if it is your first delivery.
Some of these supplies would include:
- Menstrual Pads
- Perineal supplies
- High waisted underwear
- Over the counter medications for pain management and softening stools
- A robe and comfy pjs
- If you are nursing, you will also need to invest in nursing friendly bras, nipple cream and a breastfeeding pillow.
3. Meal Planning
I feel that it’s very important to have a meal plan for the first four to six weeks. Whether your family decides to make and freeze meals ahead of time, you participate in a meal train (scheduled food delivery), or you have designated family or friends committed to daily food prep, you need a plan.
You are going to be so very tired and your body will need a constant supply of nutritious fuel. This is especially important if you are planning on breastfeeding, or you’ve birthed your baby by cesarean. I also recommend keeping a large water container filled and keeping it close to where you sleep or feed your baby. Nutritious and easily accessible snacks are key as well.
4. Support System
Even if you are an experienced mom, or you are experienced with babies, the first months are difficult. Your body has gone through a major event and you and your brain are not the same afterwards. I cannot emphasize enough how important the support of family, friends and a care team is in that fourth trimester.
After having two babies, I feel passionate about having a plan for this before you give birth. You need to have a list of resources ready to go when various questions and concerns arise.
This resource list would include:
- Your OB
- The baby’s pediatrician
- A lactation consultant (if breastfeeding)
- A sleep consultant
- A pelvic floor PT
- A mental health professional
- Trusted friends and family members. (It is especially helpful to plan to be in contact with friends who have small children.)
As a first time mom, the fourth trimester was quite challenging for me and I remember wondering if some things, like the sleepless nights and my baby’s reflux, would ever get better. It did. This time around, the sleepless nights were just as hard but I knew they would come to an end, which made that first month much easier on my mental health.
What I urge you to do above all else is give yourself grace. Becoming a mother is one of the biggest and most important events in our lives. We want to be good at it for our babies and I’m telling you now, you will be good at it. You will not be a perfect mother but you will be the perfect mother for your baby. I encourage you to pause and take a big breath every time you feel overwhelmed (there will be many of these times), knowing that you and your baby will figure it out together, day by day and moment by moment.
