The Girlfriend’s Guide to Making Girlfriends

We’ve all heard that making mom friends is like dating, right? And we all know how incredibly difficult it is to find friends and keep them (can I get an AMEN?). But how do we even start the process of searching for these unicorns, I mean, mom-friends? I’m here to give you what we’ve all been looking for.

Step 1 

You must make the decision to be ALL-in. Make a commitment to yourself to find friends that you want to be around and enhance your life experience as a woman. This isn’t a “well, I’ll get around to it” event. If that’s how it feels you aren’t ready. Finding girlfriends as a mom requires dedication and perseverance. It takes work, but like labor – it’s worth it in the end.  

Step 2

Realize this process will require you to get out of your house. You can make awesome mom friends online (some of my best friends are internet besties), but this guide is about IN-PERSON friends. So you will need to put your yoga pants on, slap that hair up on top of your head, and GO! 

Step 3

Make a game plan. There are three kid hot-spots that you are SURE to find other moms to talk to

1. Chick-fil-A
2. The park (check out some of the parks and playgrounds around Columbia)
3. The library (find the kids, the moms are sure to follow)

Now, when you are there, be sure you busy your kids with something so that you can be free to scope out the lay of the land. With toddlers, this can be difficult, but if you can give yourself two minutes to strike up a conversation with another woman then the kids can interrupt you at will, and both of you will understand and continue to stop-start-stop-start like you do with anything else in your life. Because … kids.

Step 4

This is going to require that you look UP from your phone and actually open your mouth to talk to an adult. For those of you speaking “toddlerese” during the day, this can take a refresher course. “Hi” is always a good start to an adult conversation. Take a deep breath and SMILE. “How old is she/he?” is also the mom’s go-to for an icebreaker question.

Now that you have actually started chatting with another human how do you go about bridging the gap from just casually talking to befriending?

Step 5

Take the initiative! Ask her if she comes to Chick-fil-A, the park, or the library often (you know, the top three places you find moms and kids). Then say “Let’s exchange numbers and make a time to meet again and let the kids play together!”

You’ve done it! You have officially started the process of making a mom-friend! Congratulations!!!!

Step 6

Now, continuing on with this relationship requires that you make time to reach out to her and arrange a future date to hang out. I know, I know … everyone is busy. But do we want to be 70 years old with a bunch of grandchildren and have no friends to show them off to? I didn’t think so.  

MAKE TIME FOR FRIENDS.  Make TIME to MAKE friends.

I promise you, it’s so worth it. There’s nothing like having an ally at the park when your kids start having a meltdown because it’s time to go and you can share a smile with someone who knows exactly how it is and what kind of wine you will have later. Now, go on girlfriend!  Make those friends! 

What has worked for you in finding the girlfriends in your life?