In 2015 I left the best friends, boss, co-workers, and job I had ever had to make the move to the famously hot Columbia for a better life for our family. Yes, folks, Columbia offered a better life than what we had or could have had where we came from. More opportunities for both my husband and me to advance our careers and the greatest opportunity, for us to purchase our first home without going into horrible debt.
I tell you all these details because it took me a while to recover from this. To the point that, if we’re being honest, I probably should have found someone with a psych degree and a really comfy couch. But I can confidently say as we approach the three-year mark, I feel like I am finally out of the woods (thanks T Swift).
It took me near three years to find happiness. To find me. To find something comparable to the life we left behind. Actually, a little less than three years. It really happened when I realized I needed to put myself out there with the goal of meeting people. I was trying prior to when I turned the gears up, but I wasn’t really trying. I was just going through the motions.
The tables turned and I began to get a glimpse at what an awesome new life I could have when I started writing for this amazing website and met many awesome women, and a few who happen to live on the same side of town as me and I get to call my friends. I started having my own social life #blessed. I started to remember what it was like to feel fulfilled in the aspects of my life other than my family.
Last on my list was getting my work life in check. During year two in COLA, I was on my second job and while it was fulfilling in some aspects, in most it was incredibly draining and had no room to grow. It was the last thing on my list to fix. For months I secretly and slowly searched for something different. In April I found it, my unicorn.
The moral of my story is two-fold.
- Get help. If you are feeling anything but yourself talk to someone. Whether you’re talking to your BFF, your husband, your wife, your mom, your neighbor, some mama you met in a Facebook moms group that lives on the other side of the world, or someone with a degree and really comfy couch. You are not weak. You are not helpless. And you are most certainly not alone.
- You deserve to be happy. I spent so much time making sure everyone around me was happy. I put everyone ahead of myself. I was so focused on making sure everything was in line for everyone else, that they were set for gold, the gold standard for myself had been replaced with the knock-off tarnishing junk. It took me far too long to realize that I had been tricking myself and needed to up my game.
Don’t ever forget that you deserve happiness. Find your circle. Find your calling. And don’t give up until you do. It will take time and work to find your unicorn, but it’s out there.
