As a mom of children that range in age, it’s sometimes easy to miss out on quality time with my older children, especially during the holiday season when everyone is home. Teens are independent but they still need our attention and focus, just like the little ones.
Naturally, we spend less time with our teens as they get older. It’s more than just about spending time together, but building trust and closeness. And there’s no time like the holidays to get that time in!
This can be planned or it can be more casual and impromptu. I have found that asking my teens what they would like to do works best but do whatever feels right for you and your family.
Casual Ideas for Connecting with Your Teen
I am guilty of spending my downtime on my phone. I put the kids to bed and I might sit on the couch and catch up on a show or mindlessly scroll on social media. Lately, I have been intentional about using some of that time to connect with my teen by sitting and catching up in their room or at the kitchen island while sharing some ice cream. Here are a few more casual ideas for connecting with your teen:
- Watching their favorite movie/show – my daughter loves to show me episodes of Grey’s Anatomy.
- Enjoying their favorite snack together after dinner.
- Inviting them with you to do Christmas shopping for their other parent, grandparents, or siblings.
- Talking about the items on their Christmas list and why they are interested in them. I bet this turns into a full-length conversation!
TIP: Listen to cues from your teen. I was cleaning the kitchen when my oldest asked if I wanted to “hang out” after the younger kids were in bed. I could’ve brushed her off and told her maybe another time, but I seized that moment and we watched a new Christmas movie together.
Planned Ideas for Connecting with Your Teen
I’m more the type-A kind of mom so planning is my jam. But I often plan things that my small kids love but my teens dislike. I wanted to be more intentional this year and asked for my teens input on what we should do this holiday season. Driving around seeing the lights just doesn’t land with them like it used to!
Here are a few ideas to get the ball rolling with your holiday plans:
- Ice skating
- Karaoke night
- Volunteer together
- Go camping
- Gingerbread house contest
- Host a “Friendsmas” with their friends and their parents
- Gift wrapping competition
- Backyard bonfire with s’mores
Being a teen is tough and it’s often even tougher for us to connect with them. The last thing parents want to hear after putting together (what we think is) the most epic Christmas activities for our kiddos is, “this is boring”. Hopefully these ideas will help you shift your intention this holiday season and work with your teens to have an enjoyable holiday for them and your entire family.
Great tips! When my son was a teen we enjoyed hiking. And when he was beginning to drive we spent hours exploring while also putting in drive time. Those are great memories! My daughter is a tween currently and she enjoys getting our nails done, going out for lunch and Starbucks. Working on a craft together (making bracelets or paint by number, for example) is also a great way to connect.
Amanda, these are all great ideas! We want to try hiking at some point. My oldest teen isn’t really into the outdoors but maybe one day haha! And Starbucks and a nail date are always a big hit! Thanks for sharing these!