I had the most beautiful little girl on 12.12.12. Every child changes you in some way. They make you stronger; they show you how much fight you have in you.With my first baby I was able to be a lot more calm and less anxious. That changed with my daughter. When she was almost one, she hadn’t said any words and wasn’t babbling, as is typical for that age. The pediatrician assured me this was normal, but I knew something was wrong. Nothing changed by the time she was two, but her doctor still said everything was fine. However, to appease me, she referred us to BabyNet for testing.
This is where our journey into special education started. I still remember that day, sitting in a conference room in the school while the employees played with Elind on the floor. At some point they let me know that the testing showed a receptive speech delay and also a cognitive delay. Elind knew her name, but she couldn’t understand what the question “what’s your name?” meant. So if we called her name she’d respond, but if you asked her her name, she couldn’t understand what you were asking her.
We started having a speech therapist come to our house and it was a game changer for her. Elind entered the school system, for extra help, at four years old, and was able to go on to kindergarten and graduate from her IEP. I cried. It was a day I never saw coming.
We had three good school years from kindergarten through second grade when Covid hit. I homeschooled for the 2020-2021 school year and I think that’s when the cracks started to show. I realized when my husband and I taught Elind a math concept, she wouldn’t remember what to do. So we would teach her again, and then again, day after day, and there was a continuous struggle and a constant concern about her not remembering what steps to take to solve a math problem. This was second grade math so it wasn’t advanced but it just wasn’t clicking for her.
My kids returned to school the next year and I had concerns they would possibly be behind their peers, but that wasn’t the case. Not entirely. During homeschool, my middle schooler thrived and entered 8th grade seamlessly with honors classes. My daughter entered third grade on grade level and beyond with reading and writing. It was a complete 180 from where she had left off at the end of second grade when Covid hit. I was so proud of her. And me!
However, math continued to be a problem. I knew something was wrong. Her teacher knew there was an issue and would work one on one with Elind when it was permissible. But let’s be real, she was one teacher with 20+ students. There was only so much she could do. Elind needed more help.
In January, during third grade, I received a letter from the school informing me my daughter qualified for math intervention. I was ecstatic! My excitement was short-lived though. It was after Christmas vacation and Covid cases spiked. Teachers were out sick, and the interventionists had to cover their classes, and my daughter was lost in the shuffle. She never received the intervention that she needed that year. Math facts were harder for her to learn which makes everything else hard. If you can’t easily spout off what 9+9 is or 6×8, anything that comes after basic addition, subtraction and multiplication is next to impossible.
Fast forward to fourth grade and I made it clear on day one there was a problem and she needed more help. Elind qualified for an IEP, which was great. It was exactly what she needed.
Throughout fourth grade nothing changed because I think all the teachers were operating from a place of “we just have some math gaps we need to address and then everything will be okay.” Sure, there were gaps. The problem was that no one addressed the why.
Still, I kept pushing. The school told me if her math test scores didn’t improve, I could request a psychological evaluation. So at the beginning of fifth grade I did just that, and I was right. The evaluation showed that Elind has a learning disability. I felt vindicated! I had spent years blaming myself, thinking it was my fault she was behind in math, when it wasn’t.
Elind has what’s called dyscaculia.
Elind literally doesn’t see numbers or learn math. She can’t learn math the way most of us can. It’s coupled with low working memory, which explains why she can’t remember things she is just taught.
Many people have never heard of dyscaculia so let’s delve into what it is…
Dyscaculia is defined as “a math learning disability that impairs an individuals ability to learn number-related concepts, perform accurate math calculations, reason and problem solve, and perform other basic math skills.”
Some symptoms of dyscalculia are:
- Difficulties with processing numbers and quantities. This includes: Connecting a number to the quantity it represents (the number two to two apples), counting backwards and forwards, comparing two amounts, trouble with subitizing (recognize quantities without counting), trouble recalling basic math facts (like multiplication tables)
- Difficulty linking numbers and symbols to amounts
- Trouble with mental math and problem-solving
- Difficulty making sense of money and estimating quantities
- Difficulty with telling time on an analog clock
- Poor visual and spatial orientation
- Difficulty immediately sorting out directions (right from left)
- Trouble with recognizing patterns and sequencing numbers
Knowing Elind has dyscalculia opened up so much more help for her. While this is something she will always have to cope with, there are tools that can help. She has an IEP in place that allows for tools that can help her such as the use of a calculator during assignments and testing, math charts on her desk with math facts and formulas, separating complicated problems into simple steps, adjusting the difficulty of the task, and many other things.
There are still some things I think would help Elind. It is more so still a work in progress, but she is finally getting the help she needs; the help she is entitled to. Elind has a great teacher who loves math and goes out of her way to help her and meet her where she is. Having a child that needs extra help is difficult, but what’s even harder is when that child isn’t getting the help they need.
If you think your child is struggling with anything, whether it be academically, emotionally, socially, physically or in anyway, I would implore you to push and keep fighting. You push until you get your child the help they need and you keep fighting because you are their biggest and best advocate.
To Elind…Thank you for allowing me to write about your journey with dyscalculia. I know it’s hard but you show incredible grace in the face of adversity, and dad and I will always support and fight for you. We are SO proud of you.
