Momcation :: A Mother’s Day Gift to Yourself

If you are lucky enough to have people who ask you what you want for Mother’s Day, don’t be afraid to be utterly selfish. Moms spend 100% of every day thinking about other people. When are the next dentist appointments? Who needs a haircut? Is the youngest one ready for new shoes? Scheduling time for ourselves is vital, and yet is often the very lowest of priorities. Right under making time for our own haircut and dentist appointments.

A few years ago, when my kids were ages twelve, ten, and nine, I earned a work trip to Disney World. Not only was this my first time going to Disney, it was the first time in any of their lives I had gone away. Overnight. Without them, and without their dad. Completely on my own! The trip was a revelation in independence and turning off my “mom brain.” 

I don’t know about you, but my mom brain, as I tried explaining to my now 14-year-old daughter, is like a browser with 572 tabs open. Appointments, e-mails I need to follow up on, dinner menus, shopping lists, sports schedules, and a million other things that are either to-do tasks, or low-key worries/concerns (is my youngest getting enough sleep? Should I push the oldest one harder to get his learner’s permit? What could I doing more of, or should I stop doing, for my daughter?) And yes, this also may be an unofficially-diagnosed-with-ADHD type of thing, but it is truly pretty common for moms. And shutting it off is not something I ever felt like I had the luxury of doing. 

The following year, their dad bought me a Bogg bag, complete with fancy beach towels, for the next family beach trip. I took one look at that bag and was like . . . family beach trip? How about solo beach trip? and immediately started looking at cheap stays near any drivable beach.

And that’s how my annual momcation was born…

That first year, since it was completely spontaneous, my budget was practically nil. The cheapest place I could find was a hostel of sorts at Myrtle Beach. Hostel is probably not the right word, but that’s what it was listed as on Airbnb. Basically, someone had taken a couple of rooms in one of the oceanfront hotels/resorts and stuffed them full of bunk beds. My room slept eight, had one tiny hotel bathroom, and a locker. Pros: it was dirt cheap ($50 a night), on the beach, and in a hotel/resort that felt safe. Cons: sharing a bathroom with that many people, not walkable to main attractions, and I am too old for bunkbeds. Nevertheless, I had a great time and found it completely refreshing, despite some drawbacks.

Last year, I decided to go to Charleston instead. I hadn’t really been in downtown Charleston since my kids were babies, and it was so much more walkable. Walkable is important for me, since I do like an occasional tipsy drink, and didn’t want to drive or pay for an Uber unless I had to. It was a great trip. I went down early so I could spend the day on Folly Beach before checking into another hostel. This one was a vast improvement. There were separate, locked, bedrooms within an older Victorian home, with two bathrooms, and large shared kitchen facilities. And, because Charleston: free parking. I had a blast with exploring the downtown area on a Boos and Brews Spirited Pub Crawl, which was my one real splurge while there. The rest of the time was just relaxing.

This year my target is Savannah. I took my daughter and I there for our birthdays (I was turning 40 and she 10) and I’ve been wanting to go back on my own ever since.  It has a lot of the same appeal as Charleston – walkable, nearby beach, good eats and drinks – within an easy driving distance. This time, I am going full on hotel and can’t wait to explore more of Savannah’s charm. 

This Mother’s Day, plan a trip and treat yourself! It can be just you (that tends to be my vibe, since coordinating with friends is a nightmare for me) or a trip with friends. But leave the kids at home, their dad will be fine. Probably. 

What should my next trip be? I’m thinking the North Carolina Outer Banks.