Times are different then they used to be, and as a parent I try to compromise as much as I can with my children. Growing up my mom kept us safe but she allowed us to do things she felt were age appropriate. My mom said she did that because she didn’t want us to feel like we had to do things behind her back.
When I turned fifteen, my mom allowed me to start spending time with boys including having them over at our house. There were rules set in place. To name a few, you could only sit in the living room. No physical contact was allowed, not even holding hands. If we were outside we had to sit where others could see us. Most times when I did go outside my daddy would already be out there because he didn’t like I had compay. I’m the third girl out of three. And yes, I’m the daddy’s girl.
Although my daddy didn’t like we were allowed to take company with boys, he never stopped us from having company. My grandma would tell him, “James you courted my daughter and I didn’t like that. Now let these kids grow up.”
Fast forward to today. Being a parent is a lot of work. I understand my mom’s point of view as well as my daddy’s. Like I stated in the beginning, I try to compromise as much as I can with my children. I don’t ever want them to think their feelings don’t matter to me because they do. Therefore I’d rather we talk about things and come to an agreement we all feel is fair.
My oldest daughter turned fifteen in January. Since she already had a male friend during this time, I told her I would talk to his parents to see if was okay he started coming over. He hasn’t come to the house yet, but we do take them places. We don’t drop them off anywhere; we are always there to supervise them. We do give them their space but there are always eyes on them.
When I was fifteen, I liked that I was able to take company with boys. In fact, the first boy I had over to my house is now my husband. I do feel like my daughter enjoys being able to have a friend and go on dates, even if it is supervised. She knows that I want her to be able to enjoy her teenage years but I also want her to be safe.
It also helps that his parents have the same beliefs as us when it come to this. I’m truly thankful to have such great communication with them as well. That itself make it easier on all of us.
