Recently, I took a trip to my hometown and stayed at my parents’ house with my six-year-old daughter. While there, I remembered that my wedding dress was still in the closet of my childhood bedroom. That bedroom is half guest room and half quilting room now, but some good memories are saved in that closet.
Once I realized it was there, I knew I had to try it on. Especially with my daughter there. And guess what? I couldn’t even get the thing past my hips. And you know what? I laughed and was grateful!
I know this is probably an unusual reaction, but let me explain.
I laughed…
because it was kind of silly of me to expect something to fit almost 15 1/2 years later. And honestly, it was hilarious to watch me try to get that over my hips without ripping it. I’m sure I looked a little reminiscent of Cinderella’s sisters trying to fit their feet in that glass slipper that was way too small.
I was grateful…
because my body has changed as I have asked it to change and adapt to the life I live. My thighs and quads have more muscle than I’ve ever had, and they were able to pull my daughter up and down a big hill to go sledding for hours that week. I was grateful because my midsection has grown a baby for almost nine months, stretched to fit our beautiful daughter, and hasn’t quite returned to normal, and I don’t expect it to. I was grateful that my shoulders and arms were a little bigger than they used to be because I can carry my 50+ pound daughter easily still. And, I was grateful because my body is able to move and do things I want to do on my terms.
My relationship with my body has always been interesting. I was actually quite scrawny all the way through college. I’m short and barely weighed 100 pounds at 16. I wanted to be an athlete like my sisters, but my size was not quite conducive to that. I did my best and played anyway, but I knew I’d never be quite on the level of my peers.
I got married at 21 and my body did not quite know what curves were yet. Throughout my 20s I probably chased thinness over fitness a bit more than I should have. Now in my 30s, I’ve learned my body needs fuel to build muscle and endurance, and sometimes I just need bigger jeans.
I’m grateful for my body and all it does for me now. The way it fits into a wedding dress from a long time ago is the least of my worries.
