Your Worth as a Mother Is Not Determined by Your Job Status

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Your Worth as a Mother Is Not Determined by Your Job StatusI’ve written and spoken at length about my choice to be a stay-at-home mom. I’ve never been career motivated and that is my truth.  

My Story…

I had a mom who was a work horse and parents whose marriage was not a safe space. Any job I worked prior to being a SAHM was out of necessity; not desire, not from a calling. I know some people have that. I did not. 

When I met my husband I was a single mom. We were both working, so we just merged our incomes together. Our relationship was a whirlwind and we were married quickly. Soon enough, I was pregnant. (It was my second child, but our first child together.) I knew when I had that baby that I would not return to work.

Here’s why… 

When I was a single parent, I would get off from work, go to pick my son and sit in the parking lot to have a few minutes to myself before I went in to grab him. Once we’d get home, I’d have to feed him, do whatever cleaning needed to be done, and complete any other daily tasks like laundry that needed to be finished. Then I’d repeat it the next day. It was cycle that every parent knows all too well. 

You get off of work and you can’t enjoy your kid because you need to make dinner, clean, give them a bath, and so many other things. I only had one child at the time, was working 32 hours a week, and I was overwhelmed with it all. I knew going back to work once I had baby number two wouldn’t be in the best interest of my family. 

Perhaps some of you are judging me because I’m complaining about working 32 hours and being a mom when many of you have had to do far more with more children. Please don’t judge. Everyone has their max. I was almost at mine and I knew that. I won’t apologize for being self-aware enough to know that something needed to change.

Had I continued working, I wouldn’t have been getting dinner on the table, I wouldn’t have been able to keep up with the house, and I would’ve had zero patience or motivation to be the kind of mother I wanted to be. I also don’t think I would have the marriage that I have. 

It kills me when people say women can do it all. Yes, they absolutely can. But when a mother is saying she can’t, why won’t anyone listen? I had to listen to myself because no one else would listen to me. 

I don’t always function the way “normal” people do. I’m easily overwhelmed, I’m on edge 99% of the time, and I have debilitating anxiety. It is easier and better for me and my family for me not to add a job on top of everything. 

Someone recently said they disliked a book because the woman in it made her children her everything and didn’t have an identity outside of them, like a career. Is that a woman’s only worth? The ability to contribute financially? Having a career?

I do believe you need to have things you enjoy outside of motherhood, but why is it that, in our day and age, society still believes a woman only has value if she has a career? Being a mom is a difficult job. We all know this. But it’s also a very important job; one that most definitely gives value and worth to our lives. 

I can tell you, if all my husband brought to the table was financial stability but he had no morals, and a lack of character, wasn’t helping with our children, our pets, our home and was ONLY contributing financially….he wouldn’t be worth anything to me. It takes more. 

So what do I bring to the table as a stay-at-home mom? I’m a…

  • business strategist 
  • counselor
  • emotional & psychological support 
  • homework helper
  • teacher
  • chef
  • janitor
  • problem solver
  • Uber
  • accountant
  • the parent that can drop everything when a child needs to come home sick (or stays home because they’re sick)

I am MORE than enough. And so are you. 

Where do you feel your worth lies?

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